The Alexandrian #003
The “Moody Mahmoud” Edition
As another week comes to an end, we once again take a look back at everything that happened this week. It’s been a journey, but we made it. Here is a rundown of what we had to endure.
After weeks of teasing all us fine Americans, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert finally announced their announcements. On October 30, Stewart will be holding the “Rally to Restore Sanity” in Washington, D.C. Also on October 30, Colbert will hold his “March to Keep Fear Alive” also in Washington, D.C. So that’s cool.
Fall began on September 22. That’s pretty self-explanatory. If you want commentary, watch Glenn Beck.
“Moody” Mahmoud Ahmaddhfjhtinelalz spoke at the UN this week. He started talking about 9/11 conspiracies and how most Americans think the government did 9/11. I say that is an outrageous claim. The government isn’t smart enough to pull off something like that. 9/11 would end up lasting 8 months as the Republicans and Democrats debate what to bomb next. There will be Tea Party rallies and Glenn Beck will say some stupid stuff. The President’s approval rating will drop. The midterm elections will change the balance of power in Congress. Then Congress will go on vacation and 9/11 will never actually happen. Maybe we should get Al-Qaeda to run our government. At least they get shit done.
And finally, time for the biggest news of all. On September 21, Civilization V was unleashed upon the public. This game comes five years after the previous version. This version feature a new hex grid along with an all new combat system. Also, it’s the best game ever created ever. I’m currently playing as Japan and I’ve already conquered the French, the Ottomans, and the Iroquois. They just kept pushing my buttons. Then I unleashed the fury of my Samurais upon them. You push and you push and then you get dead. That’s what happens when you mess with Alex.
All the best,
Alex Peruso
