The Alexandrian #004
The “How is this news?” Edition
We’ve done it! We’ve survived one month of being back to school and back to work. It’s been quite the journey, but we live to fight again another day. Here’s how we got here:
We started off the month with the beginning of the 2010 election season. The tea baggers were sharpening their racist signs and getting ready for Election Day. Then Apple announced their new lineup of iPods along with the Apple TV. We also discussed the importance of a good cement job. We flew down to Florida and met Burn-a-Koran Man who was planning International Burn a Koran Day and then promptly cancelled. If you’re going to make big statements you better follow through with them. Then I proposed giving the Muslims Alaska in exchange that they leave America forever and Scandyland was in the news for something I can’t remember. Finally, Colbert and Stewart announced their respective rallies, “Moody” Mahmoud spoke at the UN, and Civilization V came out. Phew! What a month!
Now, for this week’s news. Oh, that’s right. Nothing happened this week. Really. Nothing happened. I had to dig deep into the bowels of news to pull out a few turds. So here goes nothing. Literally.
There was some talk this week of a bill that would open up backdoors in popular Internet services like Skype and Facebook allowing the government to creep on people. For the good of the public of course. Nothing bad could come of this.
Congress is finishing up its session this week. They’ll be back after the election to do what they always do: nothing. They decided to stall the votes on important bills like the ones about the tax cuts and net neutrality. Also, they didn’t pass a budget for next year yet. They did however make sure commercials are at a reasonable level. That was a pretty good deal. I’m glad they got that passed. Congress is really useful and they get a lot done. They don’t stall and delay everything forever.
There’s some election news I could talk about but I’m so apathetic about this upcoming election that I don’t feel like wasting the ink.
All the best,
Alex Peruso
